daily painting | wild lily

So I’m kind of into pastels these days. I think it’s because I am liberally using them in the commissioned series of paintings I’m in middle of. Also it’s fun to use the pastels with abandon when I’m finished with a watercolor I’m not excited about — if I have a painting that’s kind of, well, meh, I can’t wreck it by getting fast and loose with these bright chalky pigments. Which is what happened with this lily bouquet this afternoon.

Today was a day of peace. A fun meeting with my fellow golden-eagle-watching pal as we figured out the new software to file reports (did you know that the concentration of golden eagle nests here in CA, between the Carquinez Strait and Morgan Hill, is the highest in the world?). We work with the East Bay Parks district to collect data so that new wind farms are not built near nests; the blades kill more eagles than the birds can replenish (they also kill thousands of other birds, and bats). So the biologists in the park system try to work with the wind turbine companies to keep eagles safer. And dear Jonathan came by to finish up details with the new water heater. He’s a doll.

My heart feels full and, at the moment, whole (sometimes it’s quite shattered and that’s just the way grief works). I am grateful and content. And I can take hot baths again.

10″ x 10″ ink, watercolor, pencil, pastel on paper = $150

acrylic abstract painting on canvas by emily weil

daily painting | seventy-one

October 30, 2023October 30, 2023 Categories: UncategorizedTags: abstract · acrylics · daily painting · emily favors · emily weil · grief · lobotomy · moonrise · nurse ratched · oakland artist · october · painting · paints

I’ve often longed for a frontal lobotomy. That desire is fresh again — anything for relief from Nurse Ratched, who embodies the grief that is my daily companion. I hardly know how to explain myself. “How are you doing, Emily?” is a question asked by people who genuinely care. “Doing my best,” I answer. Because it isn’t culturally acceptable to answer the question honestly: “Well, I was writhing in my bed this morning from stabbing pain in my gut and shards of glass in my heart and it feels like my kitchen floor is jaggy with razor blades and I can’t sleep and I sometimes spontaneously sob hysterically in the produce dept. of the grocery store and I wish I knew who put TNT under my mattress and blew me up. But other than that, I’m fine.”

Truly kind people want me to feel better. I get that and appreciate it. But it also adds pressure, like I’d best hurry up with my mourning. So that makes me withdraw, and then the grief process becomes more isolating.

Just being honest here. Thanks for reading this. I’d like our culture to be smarter when it comes to holding and supporting those who have had difficult losses. It’s just amazingly lonely and takes years. I’m so bored with justifying my technicolor emotions.

And I’m deeply grateful for redwood trees that I can literally lean on because they help absorb the pain. And for a studio full of paints. And birds. And October moonrises.

30 x 24″ acrylic, oil pastel, pencil on stretched canvas = $1025

daily painting | october pom

October 26, 2023November 17, 2023 Categories: UncategorizedTags: artists · Brushes by the Bay · daily painting · emily favors · emily weil · mammoth lakes · oakland artist · october · painting · paints · pom · pomegranate · vacation · watercolor

I brought this pomegranate as subject matter to our Brushes by the Bay group yesterday. It had gotten a little dried out in my fruit bowl which makes it more interesting — it develops harder edges and interesting geometric planes. Fun.

I’m home from my glorious Mammoth Lakes vacation. It was a beautiful reset button. I had clear, temperate weather and starry nights and breathtaking vistas every day. The morning I left the skies were cloudy and it was 45°. Talk about timing.

So I was happy to rejoin my artist pals to do art in my marina. I love the individual syles and media we use — watercolors, colored pencils, pen and ink, pencil. Nice to be home. So much life to grab with both hands.

7″ x 7″ ink, watercolor on paper = $65

daily painting | simple bouquet

October 4, 2023October 4, 2023 Categories: UncategorizedTags: bouquet · Brushes by the Bay · daily painting · emily favors · emily weil · hawk hill · hawks · oakland artist · october · painting · paints · student · watercolor

I have a delightful student who takes private painting lessons from me. We sat outside in the comfortable, smoke-free October air and worked on a bouquet I had brought for subject matter. We both enjoyed painting in a smaller format; we worked side-by-side as we practiced various watercolor techniques. I finished this one up today.

As we were working two Cooper’s hawks flew overhead (they like the cottonwood trees bordering my marina). It was glorious. If you are a bird nerd like I am now is a great time to visit Hawk Hill in the Marin Headlands to see the hawks, eagles and falcons migrating; they funnel through that area, heading south to winter in Southern CA, Mexico, and Central and South America. It’s quite spectacular (mid-day is best).

6″ x 6″ ink, watercolor on paper = $45

daily painting | gorgeousness from holly

October 1, 2023October 1, 2023 Categories: UncategorizedTags: autumn · bouquet · daily painting · eastern sierras · emily favors · emily weil · garden · grief · holly · oakland artist · october · painting · paints · watercolor

Aahhh… October. Such a beautiful month. Autumn is a lovely time of year and I will get to enjoy it up in the eastern Sierras in a few weeks for a vacation of napping and hiking and painting and reading and exploring. So grateful.

A very generous friend gifted me with another bouquet from her stunning garden; worked on this yesterday. I may do another painting today of same.

Today is the 6-week mark of my brother’s death. Tiny little glimmers of sunlight are poking through, encouraging me that grief is a process, and I won’t always feel skinless and inside out. Boy am I grateful his journey is done. No more broken hip or Parkinson’s or brain cancer or unhappy marriage. I feel him with me sometimes, loving me and comforting me and encouraging me that I’m not alone. Thank you, Jamey.

I’m agog at life’s winding roads. Surprising twists and turns and storms and fog and sunshine and healing and hope and loss and love… well, I could go on (well, I already do). I could never have imagined this path with my brother — that we loved each other so much, that we helped heal each other of childhood wounds. That multitudes of loved ones and friends showed up to love and comfort him. It was stunning. I will always be filled with gratitude I got to be part of his life and his death. It was a privilege.

12 x 9″ ink, watercolor, acrylic on paper = $140

daily painting | september leaf

September 28, 2023September 28, 2023 Categories: UncategorizedTags: bouquet · Brushes by the Bay · daily painting · emily favors · emily weil · grief · hawks · leaf · oakland artist · painting · paints · watercolor

I was cleaning up this image in Photoshop, created yesterday, when I realized the leaf is heart-shaped. I had a ball (as usual) with our Brushes by the Bay artists group, and stayed after the group dispersed to keep playing with paints. This leaf drifted from trees behind me onto my work space and I changed direction from painting the small bouquet I’d brought to do this simple autumn offering. I am encouraged — my heart is OK. I’m healing.

I love this time of year. Hawks are migrating, the air is cooling, days are getting shorter which means better rests at night. Maybe it is wisps of memories of forever hopes from childhood that my October birthday will be fun. Maybe it is memories of kid excitement for a new school year with unknown possibilities. Dunno. But this heart-leaf comforts me in my time of grief. To everything there is a season.