Yesterday was another fun Bay Area Models Guild marathon on Zoom. They used to have these events at various locations around the Bay Area, but it actually works pretty well online. Was a blast — there were a number of expert models in various poses, funds were raised for the guild, and I could create art more comfortably in the privacy of my home. I think this was my favorite model, Barbara, with her glorious red hair and magenta hat, who has been modeling for more than 35 years. As always, painting and drawing saves my bacon. And Barbara’s expertise and perseverance and joy in modeling was inspiring, which leads me to today’s musings.

Sometimes life’s challenges strip you down to the studs. As I sweep up the drywall dust, bent nails, chunks of linoleum and splinters of dry-rotted siding, I can see the bones of my insides. Is the framework sound? Can I rebuild? I’m finding that, yes, the original structure was created with high-quality building materials. My bones are sturdy and good. I remember feeling similarly after my mom died 15 years ago. Things got stripped away in the grief and pain — stuff I no longer needed got chucked into the dumpster, which cleared my head — I found my path as an artist, I was directed to my GGRO tribe, and I discovered my houseboat community. What will happen now that I’m pushing 70? Dunno. But I’m not done yet. Never too late to rethink goals and dream new dreams and move forward. And be my truest self. Who I hope is kind and compassionate.

We’ve all been through a lot these last years; 2020 was simply a bitch. For everyone. Some suffered more losses than others but no one got through the turmoil unscathed or unchanged. My hope is that I can embrace loss and grief with grace and an open heart. Like the line in a Bonnie Raitt song, “Don’t let me grow bitter I pray.” Amen.

11″ x 8″ watercolor, pen, pencil on paper = $120