Non-resistance is my phrase du jour. Today’s emotional tornado is about an EF4, but I’ve got a pretty good shelter under my house (which means a wet suit and scuba gear but I’m well-equipped). It’s OK though. I “yield to overcome” (Eckhart Tolle). That kind of stance helps me through the storms when whirlwind emotions twirl me up into the air. It’s a natural tendency to stiffen up and fight these experiences but it just prolongs the grief process (this makes me think of being in labor and breathing; I do feel kind of like I’m birthing a new me). I’m amazed every time I practice acceptance — it’s so effective and helpful for it gives room for the storm to pass by. For me, it’s important to not fight the shitty feelings and god they just feel awful. Sadness, anger, shock, depression. Ugh. But I know I’m moving through them. They’ll be back tomorrow, and that’s OK. I surrender to this journey. Painful and unpleasant. Eventually, though, the weather will change. I hope. I think so.
[This painting started as a watercolor of… I can’t remember. Flowers, I’m sure. Wasn’t going well so I added splotches of ink, and then pastels. Can’t overstate how making art helps me stay upright. That and screaming out the open car window on the freeway.]
8″ x 8″ watercolor, ink, pastel on paper = $85