OK. Foo. Here I am being generously hosted by a kind friend in San Diego while family transitions get sorted. Things are getting a bit more settled, and I am hopeful my daughter and boys are starting a new, brighter chapter. I brought my little travel kit of watercolors and supplies (always!); here there are so many beautiful scenes to paint — bright flowers, amusement parks, budding pomegranates, patio gardens, loose, juicy red roses. Many glories. And yet! I’ve been trying too damn hard. Like I have to take advantage of my surroundings and prove my worth by producing decent paintings. Needless to say the results are crap and I’ve become frustrated. I decided to splash watercolors and ink in my watercolor sketchbook just to have the pleasure of using the tools and feeling them in my hand — brushes, water-soluble thick pencils (Lyra brand, they are marvy), acrylic pens, a fine-tipped Micron pen — without having any specific subject matter to recreate, just doing an abstract expression — even plucking several pink hibiscus from the yard and smashing them into the paper, creating a few mauve-y pinks. Mostly I’m trying not to think. It isn’t often that painting frustrates me, so I am paying attention and getting rest and working through many emotions. Usually splashing paint around streamlines that inner process, but I think doing a few days of abstracts will help reset my creative flow. Or not. Does it matter? Not a lot. I’m here now, paying attention, letting go, feeling gratitude. That’s good for one day.
8″ x 8″ watercolor, acrylic pen, pencil, hibiscus blossom on paper