I woke up this wonderfully cool, gray Sunday morning feeling a bit tender and wondered why until I realized it’s my mom’s birthday. She’s been gone several decades now, but because my connection with her was taut and fraught, this day always scrapes off a few layers of skin. That’s fine, I’ll feel a lot better tomorrow, and I’ve learned some good self-care skills which may or may not involve ice cream.

This is such a time of change! In our beloved country, sadly with frightening weather systems, and in my life as an elder. I’m appreciating the wisdom, confidence and comfort in my own (increasingly saggy) skin as I age. And as my creaky bones and sore hinges crank up their complaints, my heart gets stronger. I like who I am more. Such a paradox! (Or maybe not.) The joy of being an old woman — I couldn’t care less what people think of me. Quite a difference from my life as a young woman. This gives me great joy.

So as I continue to recover from family deaths and upheavals, and anticipate turning some life-changing corners, this bit from a prayer and meditation book was perfect: “Transformation does not need to be as traumatic or dramatic as things may seem… change is the only true constant. When you resist it, you create a tension within you… surrender to the grace that is calling you to allow life to take its course, moving through the sadness and disappointment.” I picture myself lying comfortably on that beautiful Carmel beach listening to the waves, inhaling the pungent salty air and letting the tides do what they do.

[Another lovely afternoon of painting in my friend’s yard produced this watercolor.]

6″ x 6″ watercolor, ink on paper = $50